From The Beginning
by TragicwithacapitalT1
Summary: A story written by two people (Like, actually written by two friends...) Phil meets Dan and immediately develops a crush, Dan doesn't know but seems to flirt with Phil leaving him confused. Will it be friendship or romance?
1. Note regarding wth this story is

So...

This is a special sort of Phanfiction, me and my friend will be writing it together. I'll post a chapter, she'll read it, post another chapter and so on.

Each chapter will have a little note saying who wrote what so it makes more sense so yeah, I hope you enjoy this little experiment thing? Idek. :')

(I'm sorry, I'm awkward...)

~L


	2. The New Years Party

Chapter 1 written by ~L

(This will hopefully get better, idek...)

"But Peej, I won't know anyone!" I whispered as we approached the door of his house.

"Phil, it'll be fine! I wanted to introduce you to some new YouTubers, there's a whole community of them now!" He called from the kitchen, dropping the bags of food and drink he was carrying on the floor.

I'd been on YouTube for just over a year now and so far PJ was the only friend I'd made. He was also one of my closest friends. I shrugged; I still didn't like the idea. This would my my first new years away from my family and I'd be spending it with a bunch of people I didn't know.

"Look, there are two people I especially want you to meet, please?"

"Fine, don't expect me to stay the whole night though!" He nodded at this and began unpacking the food. A couple of hours later the house was filled with socially awkward YouTube nerds discussing Pokémon and the newest games console.

I was stood in a corner, drinking some sort of fruit punch and trying to look well... normal. PJ came bounding up to me a huge smile plastered on his face.

"So, the two people I wanted you to meet are here... Follow me, good sir." He grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the kitchen. I recognised one of them immediately, Crabstickz or Chris Kendall.

"Chris this is Phil, Phil this is Chris." PJ announced, finally releasing my wrist. I shook Chris' hand, trying not to fan boy because he was one of my favourite ever people.

"And Phil, this is Dan..." Chris stepped out of the way, behind him stood one of the best looking people I'd ever seen. He was surprisingly tall, brown hair and brown eyes, tanned skin- there was no way he could be fully British- his features pretty much perfection and the cutest dimples every time he smiled. He was wearing a Pokémon hoody and a pair of skinny jeans. I immediately felt a blush creep up my neck. Don't say anything stupid Phil, act cool.

"Hi!" I cried, thrusting my hand towards him. Smooth. He took it and shook it awkwardly, blushing as well and smiling at the ground. PJ and Chris snuck of into the crowd, leaving me with Dan.

"So... you're AmazingPhil on YouTube, right?" He asked, his voice wasn't what I had expected at all. It was well... Very British.

"Urm yeah... My channels not very big at the moment." I don't know why I added that last bit... I was terrible around new people, especially people as attractive as Dan.

"Mine either; I have the stupidest channel name though." He laughed, pushing his fringe out of his eyes.

"Which is..?" I asked.

"I don't even wanna say it's so ridiculous... In my defence, it was an account I made like three years ago..." He trailed off and turnt away, laughing to himself. "Danisnotonfire." He said finally, suppressing a giggle.

"It's not that bad I mean you are talking to someone who's called AmazingPhil on YouTube!" He smiled and downed the last of his drink.

So overall the party wasn't a horrible failure. I made a few friends and found myself awkwardly crushing on Dan which PJ found hilarious.

"Why don't you text him and see if he wants to collab?" PJ asked me over the phone a couple of days later. "I mean, he did give you his number, right?"

"Peej it's not that easy... He lives too far away."

"He could stay at yours for a couple of days though and he only lives like half an hour away! Don't be such a wuss Phil!" He laughed down the phone.

"Bu- What if he finds out I like him? Imagine how bad that'd be. Oh god."

"Phil if you don't ask him then I will, imagine how bad that'd look!" PJ giggled maniacally down the phone.

"Don't you dare! Fine! I'll text him just don't you dare say anything to him!"

"I promise, now stop blabbing to me and text him!"

Right okay Phil you can do this. It's not like he knows your bi anyways and you're just a normal guy asking another guy to come and film a video with you. Normal... Ha.

'Hey Dan! So I was wondering would you maybe wanna collab soon?' I sent the text as quickly as possible and threw my phone across my bed and climbed under the covers. I would be crushed if he said no. I heard it vibrate almost immediately. I could feel my heart beating... Why was I so worked up? I'd had crushes before I mean hell, I had the biggest crush on Chris but I wasn't nervous at all when meeting him. I shook the thoughts from my head and quickly grabbed my phone.

'Sounds good! Whereabouts do you live?' I swear my heart skipped a beat. I explained to him whereabouts and we arranged to meet up at the station near mine in a couple of week's time, he was gonna stay at mine for a week or so, he also made me promise to Skype him as much as possible in order to sort out possible video ideas. We became good friends pretty quickly. A week before we were supposed to meet up, we were skyping. Dan had a cold so kept complaining he was dying.

"Phil, you don't understand okay. I'm dying." He croaked, suppressing a giggle. His mum walked in with a thermometer and took his temperature.

"Hmm, it's slightly high. Take of your shirt." I suppressed a giggle. He did as he was told, pulling the cover up to his neck as his mum left. He pouted cutely into the camera.

"I'm dying, the least you could do is show some empathy!"

"Awh poor you, I hope you feel better soon!" I said, trying not to burst out laughing. Then it hit me, I was skyping Dan whilst he was shirtless and I didn't feel awkward! Maybe I didn't fancy him anymore? I knew immediately that that was a load of crap of course I did but maybe now I could finally be friends with him without wanting anything more.

"So what time are you coming to get me on Friday?" He whispered, sitting up and revealing his bare chest.

"Urm probably about midday, I was thinking we could get lunch before we came back."

"Sounds good! Right so I'm gonna go and sleep and stuff so I'll text you in the morning okay bubs?"

"Okay, have a nice nap!" He winked into the camera and ended the call. Wait... Did he just call me bubs?!


	3. The Rohypnol Tea

Hey guys I'm Rebecca and this is my chapter of the Phanfic. DO NOT WORRY IT WILL GET BETTER. But yeah I don't write a lot of fanfiction but I try my best. Hope this goes well and I hope you enjoy it! :D  
~ Written by R

I was waiting at the station with my bags, just enough stuff for the week. I must have checked then at least 24 freaking times before leaving. Why on earth am I so nervous, I mean it's just Phil for God's sake. Well it's not just Phil...It's AmazingPhil he's such a brilliant You Tuber and I'm just like...walrus. But that's not the only thing, I don't know why but I just get so bashful around him, probably just my social anxiety acting up again.

"Damn it's cold! Why haven't I realised it's so damn cold." I said to myself before realising there were women and small children staring at me so I shut up.

I sat there on the cold, steel seat waiting for Phil to turn up thinking of ideas for our vlogs. I must have gone off into my own little world because when I looked up Phil was standing in front of me giggling.

"Oh! Ummm, hey Phil!" I said automatically fixing my hair and brushing my T-shirt even though there was nothing on it.

I could feel myself blushing, why the hell was I freaking blushing it's just my friend. I brushed it off and gave Phil a hug. Phil was blushing too which made me think it must just be a white male thing. We went back to Phil's and were talking about some video ideas. Phil's phone kept buzzing constantly and he kept apologising saying it was PJ, it seemed a bit odd because every time he looked at his phone he went a deeper shade of red.

I ignored it and continued talking about my idea for a video called "Phan" which was like a mash up of our names and I thought we could tweet asking for some questions and answer them on camera. Phil agreed and said it was a good idea and we were deep in conversation about ways to make it funny when Phil suddenly launched his phone across the motherfucking room causing me to scream like a fucking little girl.

"JESUS PHIL WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT" I said laughing at the angry expression on Phil's face as he stared at the remains of his phone in the corner of his bedroom.

"I'm sorry honestly, PJ was driving me mad. I'M NOT VIOLENT I PROMISE...I, I HAVE A LION TOY...SEE!"

Phil squealed grabbing his toy lion and holding it dangerously close to my nose. At which point I burst into hysterical fits of laughter at Phil's outburst and gave him a hug and told him it was fine and asked if he was okay in the most serious voice I could muster whilst trying not to laugh.

"I'm sorry, I'm being such a twat! God Phil get a grip!" Phil laughed awkwardly and seemed deeply embarrassed.

"Haha at least you're not a PENIS like me! Hahahaha." I replied a bit louder than I think I should have with his parents downstairs.

I immediately regretted it. That's just great Dan practically shout the word penis at a guy you've only just really met. That's how you make friends.

Convinced I'd creeped Phil out beyond belief I dropped my head to the floor laughing at my own stupidity but to my surprise Phil joined in and suggested we call our video, 'Philisnotonfire'.

"THAT'S BRILLIANT...YOU'RE BRILLIANT" At which point I glomped Phil and we fell to the floor laughing and as I lifted my head our faces were DANGEROUSLY close, however I didn't seem to mind. I think Phil may have slipped some rohypnol in my tea...


	4. Is He Flirting or am I Going Crazy?

I broke my own feels writing this chapter, I hope you're happy.

~L

"Srs Bsnss now Phil!" He laughed pulling me up to sitting position. "If you had to lose your leg or your nose what would you lose?" He chuckled.

"I'd lose my leg; imagine my face without a nose!"

"Voldemort has no nose..."

"I'd look like Voldemort?!"

"And Voldemort's pretty fit to be honest." Wait, what?

"I already look like Voldemort!" I closed in on the camera. "Harry!" I whispered in my best mock voice.

"Oh shut up you spoon! You're so much fitter than Voldy!" He giggled, winking at me.

"Oh really Dan? Have you seen my face?" I pulled the worst face I possibly could and collapsed into a fit of giggles in his lap.

"Shush, it's a nice face." He whispered, patting me on the cheek. I sat up blushing like mad, Dan's palm still resting on my cheek. He pulled away quickly and awkwardly giggled.

"Anyway, where were we?" He whispered.

"Urm... Questions?" I replied, barely able to breathe.

We finished filming the video pretty early and I edited it within an hour. Dan had only been at mine for a day now... Would he go home now that we were finished? I was having more fun right now than ever; it was nice having a real friend. We joked around in my room for a bit, him taking the piss out of my buffy shrine.

"But Dan it's like the best show ever! Please let me convince you?" I whined, leaning up against the dresser and staring at the poster determining whether it was straight.

"Urgh fine, but I can't promise I'll like it." He groaned, placing his hands on my shoulders and leaning his head over the left one. I stopped breathing. Why was he so close. I could feel my face burning as he surveyed the posters, moving from foot to foot.

"Interesting." He said, squeezing them and pulling away. "Looks like every over shitty vampire series I've watched." He laughed, falling back onto the bed and staring at me. I was frozen to the spot. _Is it just me, or is he flirting a little bit? _ I shook the thought from my head; of course not I mean why would a sex god like him even look twice at me? And he was straight anyway so...

"Shut up it's amazing. Anyway you hungry?" I choked out, still not able to move.

"Starved." He said, jumping up, making a point of slapping me on the ass before heading downstairs laughing. I immediately grabbed my phone and texted PJ: 'So Dan just slapped my ass...'

And then followed him down.

"Are... Are you gonna go home soon then?" I asked nervously as he picked through our fridge for something edible. (My parents were away for a couple of days in America so we had no food.)

"Of course I'm not! I'm having way too much fun to leave, even though you live in the house of horrors!" He laughed not looking up. I smiled; this was honestly the closest I'd had to a best friend in years.

We went back up to my room after scavenging for about 15 minutes and finding enough to make noodles. I collapsed onto my bed, tired from filming and Dan climbed in next to me after turning of the light. I closed my eyes, barely able to keep them open any longer.

"Phil, can I tell you something?" He whispered, breaking the silence.

"Sure." I yawned.

"You're the closest to a best friend I've ever had." He spoke softly and turnt away quickly.

"You think it's too early to say you're mine?" I asked hopefully.

"Not at all. I've been wanting to say the same thing since we started talking." He sighed and settled down to sleep as did I.


	5. Disaster Area Dan

Hey there, I'm sorry if this chapter kills your feels like it killed mine while writing it. ~ R  
~END OF LAUREN'S CHAPTER~

What on earth, what what what what what what. I slapped his arse. I slapped my best friends arse and called him fit. Fuck's sake Dan, what is wrong with me? I'm straight I am a straight guy. I mean sure I've always been told I'm a bit camp and sure I've always been able to notice when a guy would be considered fit to my female friends...NO I'm straight. I mean Megan Fox, Emma Watson, Scarlet Johansson I'd do them, in a heartbeat! Yeah, I'm straight of course I am.

I rolled over and found myself lying next to Phil. He was smiling in his sleep which was extremely adorable. I remembered our conversation from last night. I had a best friend, a perfect, amazing, hilarious best friend who had the most amazing blue..eyes...

"Daaannn... What, are you..doing?!" Phil said looking slightly scared.

I was confused as to why he looked frightened until I realized I'd been fucking leaning over him watching him sleep for fucks sake. I rolled so quickly away that I rolled off the damn bed and onto the floor!

"Well...OWCH...That freaking hurt" I said through awkward laughter as I tried to lift my head but realized by back really fucking hurt. I let out a cry of pain as my back twanged. I screwed up my face in pain tears filling my eyes.

"Dan? DAN ARE YOU OKAY? DANIEL SPEAK TO ME ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!" Phil cried rushing down by my side his hand resting on mine. He looked so terrified, I was touched that he cared that much to be honest.

"Yeah, Yeah I'll be okay just help me up?" I said through quick breaths.

Phil tried to help me up, putting his arm under my neck to try and help me up holding my hand with the other. He tried pulling me up gently but I could barely move. I was trying hard not to cry but Phil could see I was in pain and apologized over and over and lowered me to the ground again.

"DAN OH GOD, YOU'RE IN PAIN. WHAT SHALL I DO TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Phil said tears in his eyes now too. I looked into his eyes and I put a hand on his cheek.

"Phil, You need to calm the fuck down okay, calm. I'm going to be fine! You just need to call an ambulance because Dan's been a dick and injured himself. Hahaha, okay so calm down we can always make this into a video" I spoke calmly through the pain to get the motherfucker to breathe because he hadn't in about a minute and I was getting worried.

"OKAY, OKAY THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO! OKAY. I'm so sorry Dan." Phil said through tears.

"Hey, shut up and go get a phone you soppy twat." I squeezed Phil's hand and he got up and frantically called his mum.

The next few hours went like a blur; I went from the ambulance to the hospital where they did a bunch of motherfucking x-rays and they prodded and poked me which hurt. So they gave me a bunch of morphine and the next thing I knew I woke up with Phil asleep in a chair next to me holding my hand. I squeezed his hand and he awoke...showing me those beautiful blue eyes.


	6. Blackholes And Revelations

Why do I always seem to get the awkward bed scenes... Anyway this is longer than the others and I'm quite proud so enjoy c:

~L

So I'd barely slept all night after what had happened with Dan, even his hand in mine didn't comfort me. I managed to get a couple of hours in and woke up to Dan staring at me from his hospital bed.

"Hey." I whispered, taking back my hand and running it through my hair. "You alright?"

"Well I'm still in a little pain but other than that, yeah." He smiled, trying to move his fingers and arms.

"Did you want me to fetch a nurse to see if she can tell us what's going on?" I asked, squeezing his arm re-assuringly, he nodded. I skipped out of the room and over to the nurses' station, purposely choosing the least attractive and oldest nurse for no apparent reason...

"Can I help you sir?" She asked as I stood awkwardly behind the desk.

"Urm yeah... my friend, Dan, just woke up and wanted to know what was going on?" The women nodded, scratching the mole on her chin.

"Mr Howell you mean?" I nodded and she led me back to his room.

"Right so there doesn't seem to be any major problems with your back minus a few bruises. So you can go home with some pain medication. Oh and no travelling more than 15 minutes for the next two weeks or so, don't do exercise or much standing up at any rate as it could possibly do further damage." And with that, she left.

"Two weeks? What about going home?" He sighed, allowing me to help sit him up.

"I guess you could stay at mine, I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind under the circumstances..." I smiled, trying to hide my excitement at the possibility of having Dan with me for another week. He smiled back, ear to ear.

"I guess it could be worse, at least here I have my best friend and an endless supply of lols."

"And jelly beans! Like a two week long sleepover!" I laughed, sitting next to him on his bed.

"Sounds like fun... I better get dressed then..." He replied, reaching down to get his bag.

"Dan... Do you need help? I could get a nurse or summin'?" I asked seeing the look of pain on his face.

"No... I mean I need help but it's too awkward... Ha-ha." I sighed, picking up his bag and placing his clothes on the bed. "Phil, honestly you don't need to..." I gave him a death stare,

"It's what best friends are for, right?" I say, pulling of the black t-shirt he'd worn the previous day and pulling his new plaid one around his torso. "I'll urm leave the jeans on..." I whispered sheepishly.

"Your choice..." He winked, laughing. He needs to stop doing that, he'll confuse my feels. He stood up as best he could and we left the hospital, me supporting him.

When we got back I led him straight up stairs and lay him straight in my bed, offering some more comfortable pyjama pants to change into. I went to go downstairs.

"No... Don't leave, keep me company, please?" He whispered an edge to his voice. I nodded and climbed in next to him, glad for the chance to sleep. I felt Dan edge closer, he was shivering like mad.

"Are you cold?" I asked.

"Fucking freezing." He giggled. "Would it be weird if we huddled?" He asked. Yes but I didn't give a shit.

"I guess not if you're cold..." I whispered, pretty much choking on my own heart beat. He smiled and edged closer, pulling the blanket right up to his neck and stopped just before he hit my chest.

"Thanks." He mumbled.

I woke up to find him pressed against my chest, still shivering. He had beads of sweat on his forehead and a high temperature. I rubbed circles into his back, trying to calm him down as much as possible. He wrapped his arms around my waist and came even closer.

"Hey, it's okay, don't worry." I whispered into his ear as he yelped. He wrapped his ankle around mine and squeezed. He was in pain, a lot of it. "Dan if you let me go I can go and get some of the meds the doctor gave you." I said calmly.

"Don't go, please." He cried, creasing in pain. I smoothed his hair out of his face and pulled his chin up towards me.

"Listen to me, I'll be right back okay? I promise." I quickly untangled myself from him and grabbed the pills and a drink from his bag in the kitchen. "Here you go, take this." I cried, thrusting the water and pill towards him. He gulped it down quickly.

"Come back." He whined, grabbing at my hand. I lay down next to him again and he immediately curled up right next to me, holding my hand this time. "No homo..." He whispered, nuzzling into my chest. Yep, he was trying to confuse me but right now... I couldn't care less, he obviously needed me.

"Tell me something about your past." He whispered.

"My past? Why?" I recoiled, I didn't want to talk about it.

"I can't not know about my best friends past, right?" He smiled, pulling away slightly to look into my eyes.

"Why don't you ask me some questions about it but only yes or no. I'll do the same for you, deal?"

"Deal." He giggled, squeezing my hand. " Did you ever have family problems?" He asked, a more serious look on his face now.

"Yes. Was you a weird child?" I said, hiding my embarrassment.

"Yeah I guess, were you?"

"The weirdest. Did you ever have to go to counselling of any sort?" I asked this because I needed to get something of my chest. He nodded.

"Did you?" He whispered, I nodded as well. "Oh." He pulled me in for a hug, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Is this a weird thing for best friends to do?" He asked after what felt like forever.

"Yes." I laughed.

"Do you find it weird?"

"No."

"Good." He whispered, nuzzling back into my chest and falling asleep.


	7. Holy Fucking What

Hey guys this is my chapter I'm sorry it's not great but everything will get better. We have big plans :D  
~END OF LAUREN'S CHAPTER~ Written by R

I woke up with my arms around Phil's waist not wanting to move. Partly from the fact I was still in pain and partly from the fact I liked being so close to someone. I managed to slip my arms out from under Phil and roll over to take some more pain killers. I sat up in bed and looked at Phil sleeping so innocently. I brushed his hair away from his eyes causing him to wake up.

"Hey there best friend." Phil said with a smile. I smiled back and got out of bed, fuck those pills are good! I can't feel any pain. I walked across Phil's room and put on my jeans I took off my top and went to get a new one from my bag when I realised Phil was up and standing behind me sort of staring at me.

"Phil... what're you looking at hahaha?" I said with a confused tone before realising I was standing shirtless. Well fuck. I went a deep shade of red and tried to hide. Phil started laughing and also went red. He asked me if we could continue the conversation we were having last night and I agreed. It would be nice to tell somebody finally, I just hoped that it didn't make Phil leave me. I'd never had a best friend and I wasn't planning on losing him.

"So you said you went to counselling too? Did you wanna talk about it?" Phil asked nervously.

"Sure... well basically my parents put me into counselling because I was extremely suicidal and they were not far off from locking me away for my own fucking safety. I ermm... well I used to self harm and I was diagnosed with manic depression by the age of 15. I tried killing myself 10 times in one year and I almost succeeded. I um, I won't go into detail but they should really keep pills away from kids...hahaha" I laughed nervously looking at the floor too ashamed to look up at his face encase he gave me that look that everyone did before they fucking left me.

"Oh Dan..." Phil said softly taking my hand. He squeezed it before turning over my wrist. I heard him gasp slightly as he noticed the faded white scars that marked me. I told him that if he never wanted to speak to me again it would be okay, I would understand. He pulled me towards him hugging me and holding my hand. It was so nice to let someone know about my past that I burst out into tears, fucking randomly crying into Phil's shoulder as he stroked my hair and told me everything would be okay, I believed that it would be with him around.

As I lifted my head and Phil wiped away my tears I looked at him and I realised I'd been lying to myself. I'd always known my whole life that I was different from my other friends. I knew I cried too much when each Doctor regenerated. I knew I liked Legolas far too fucking much in Lord of the Rings. I had been flirting with Phil, cuddling in bed wasn't a normal thing for two guys to do, I... I'm...I'm fucking in love with my best friend. I knew I wasn't gay because well, Megan Fox. I'm bisexual. Fucking hell what was this revelation week with Dan?! So I get a best friend, almost fucking kill myself by rolling out of bed, and fall in love... WITH PHIL.

Oh great so now I knew I loved him but also knew that he was far too amazing to ever love me. Fuck's sake I'm missing the all important factor that as far as I know Phil isn't even gay...or bi. Well done Dan you've done it again, you've fallen for someone amazing that you can't have. You've fallen for Phil, amazing Phil. REALLY DAN this isn't the time to be making jokes.

"Ba dum tssssss" I whispered not realising that I had actually said it out loud.

"Huh? What did you say Dan?" Phil said, sounding concerned.

At this point I realised that I had stopped crying and had just been lying on Phil's shoulder. I apologised for being a twat and he told me to stop talking nonsense and asked whether I thought that if he told me about his past it would make me feel better.  
"I'd like that" I said with a weak tear stained smile and didn't move from his arms as he began his story.


	8. The Last Train Home

This is all gushy and romantic and I'm sorry.

~L

"It's quite a long story..." I laughed nervously.

"I want to know every detail, no interruptions. Okay?" He smiled, squeezing my hand. This really wasn't normal best friend behaviour.

"So, it pretty much started up when I was born... My parents were arguing, I was supposed to be the solution except, I was a problem child. I kept them up all night, all day, I barely slept. It didn't get better as I grew up. My dad started having an affair... I found out. I saw him with her and tried to run away. I was missing for almost two weeks, but they weren't looking. It was my Nan who found me. She seemed to be the only one that cared. We were forced to go to family counselling sessions, which aren't the same as what you went for. I'd have to talk about how much I hated my parents and well life. I was a weird kid, I've said before, but I was also the reason my parents didn't have any other kids. Anyway, by the age of 15 I was depressed. I always came across as such a happy energetic person but truth being, I was dying inside. I escaped, I went to live with my Nan for a couple of years, I was much happier... And then she passed away. I had no friends; I had to move back home and well a few years later I found YouTube. I stopped counselling and became a happier person, this is why I didn't answer when you asked where my parents where, they don't take me on holiday with them and I'm pretty glad or I wouldn't be here with you... Dan, now I have you, the final piece of the puzzle, a best friend." I breathed finally, awaiting his reaction. He smiled, pulling me closer.

"And I promise as long as I'm here no-one will ever hurt you again." He whispered. "Too cheesy?"

"Not at all!" I laughed. "This is a bit weird isn't it?" I asked.

"Yep." He replied, shuffling away from me. "Better?" No...

"No, come back..." I whined, aching to hold him again. He laughed and rolled back over. "I just like hugs okay? I've been starved of them for a while..." Dan was now dangerously close to my face, his nose almost touching mine his puppy-like brown eyes inches away from my own. I tried to breathe.. Well fuck, I'd forgotten. He bit into his lip and sighed, slowly sinking towards my chest. I inhaled as much as I could, everything smelt like Dan.

I awoke the next morning still cuddled up next to him.

"Dan... Do you want pancakes for breakfast?" I asked, smiling. He nodded frantically.

"A decent meal would be nice!" We went downstairs, me holding his waist for support. He sat at the kitchen table watching me quickly mix flour and eggs together before pouring them hastily into a pan and flipping it like a pro. "how'd you learn to do that?!" He asked in awe.

"My Nan taught me when I stayed with her." I laughed. "You wanna try?" He stood up and came over to me , putting his arms around my waist claiming it was for support. "Right so you just have to try little throws first, okay?" He nodded, taking the pan from my hands and flipping the pancake moderately well. He smiled, looking excited. "Haven't you done this before?" I asked.

"No, my mum wouldn't let me... She thinks I'm a terrible cook. Hahaha." He handed me back the pan and eased himself up onto the counter, searching through the cupboards for sauces. "Omnomnom, syrup and lemon." He whispered, pulling the jars out and setting them down onto the worktop. I plated up the pancakes and divvied them out, half and half. Dan gulped his down within minutes and belched loudly. "Better out than in, I always say!" He laughed, putting his dishes into the sink. "I'll see you upstairs..." And with that he ran back up, laughing with pain at his stupidity of trying to run. I finished my food quickly in order to join him, when I arrived upstairs he was sitting on the floor playing sonic on my decade old tv and games console.

"Hey, is this a challenge?" I asked, putting my game face on. He smiled devilishly.

"It won't be, because I'll win easy." He laughed, throwing me a controller.

"Prepare yourself." I whispered, sitting down next to him.

The weeks went by faster than I'd expected and I woke up the day he was supposed to go home scared.

"I'll visit as much as I can and you can come and see me and we can Skype all the time, I promise!" He smiled, pulling me in for a hug before placing the last remaining items into his bag.

"Don't forget I'm getting my own place soon, you can come stay with me there to." I smiled back, trying to stay positive but barely able to function because I didn't know how long it'd be until I saw him next.

"I know you don't want me to go, I don't want to go either but the last term of my first year of uni starts in a few days and I have to prepare." He rubbed my arm re-assuringly, he was taking law at uni and even though it wasn't what he wanted to do he still put a lot of effort into it. "And, your new place is nearer my university anyway so we can see each other all the time." He sighed, the smile fading from his face.

"I know but I'm still gonna miss you..." I trailed off, staring at the carpet.

"I'm gonna miss you too." He whispered, taking my hand in his and squeezing. We left for the station soon after, it was pretty late, almost 9 when we arrived.

"Phil, my trains here." He sighed standing up. I nodded, walking over to the platform with him. It was now or never.

"Dan there's something I need to..." I trailed off.

"Phil?" With that, I stepped forward clearing the inches between us and joining our lips. I kissed with all the force and passion I could muster then pulled back quickly. Dan squeezed my hand, kissed me once more and then got on his train. I pulled out my phone.

'I love you Phil.' Was all I could see on the screen, Dan's name signed off at the end.


	9. I was like Phillip, Phillip, Philip Oh!

All I could think on the way home was, wow. I felt like the happiest I had ever been in my entire life. He kissed me! I didn't even know Phil had it in him to be honest, fucking hell. When I walked in and my mum asked me how my time was and if my back was okay and I said the only thing that came to mind.

"It was magical mum." I said with a grin as I skipped upstairs and straight away opened my laptop and logged onto Skype. I automatically clicked Phil's name and he answered almost instantly. For the first 5 minutes we did nothing but grin like idiots at each other. We finally managed to stop smiling enough to actually have a talk.

"Hey Phil... I'm going back to Uni to finish my first year so I'm going to be away... So what I'm awkwardly saying is that... Urm..." I spluttered nervously.

"That we can't be together yet? Yeah, I know Dan. It's okay!" Phil said with a slightly sad look in his eyes but a smile on his face.

"Yeah, only until I finish this year! Then I'm taking a gap year and we can be together." I replied with a smile on my face. Phil seemed to brighten up as I said that.

I wanted to be with Phil so badly, more than anything in the world. I promised Phil that we would Skype all the time and we told each other we loved each other and that we promised not to see anyone else and that we would be together. I hung up and got packed.

The next week at Uni there was hardly any point of not being with Phil because I couldn't stop thinking about him all through my lectures and classes. I couldn't think about anything else except how amazing it will be when I get to see him again. My teacher legitimately caught me writing Phil in a notebook like a love sick teenage girl who worships Justin Bieber. Oh Jesus what has this boy done to my mind! I procrastinate enough anyway without the picture of Phil shirtless in my mind when I'm supposed to be studying.

Me and Phil Skyped almost every day for the rest of my time at Uni for the year and on my last day he came to pick me up and I honestly felt like I was in a Romcom on Netflix. The minute I saw him I ran at him, and I NEVER run, and did the whole cheesy hugging thing. I was going to kiss him until I realized a bunch of girls where staring and I think they may have noticed Phil and me were on YouTube so we legged it to the end of the road. Then Phil asked me something that made me smile for days on end.

"Hey Dan, so you've got a gap year and I've just moved into my new place so... how about we live together...as roommates?" Phil said with a giant smile on his face. I replied with the only thing that came into my mind at the time.

"You've got yourself a Dan, Batman" and with a wink and a quick scan for potential fan girls I kissed Phil with such passion and urgency that I frightened myself a little bit.


	10. Just Another Love Song

Good luck with the ending Becky;D

~L

So Dan was officially mine. We went back to my-our flat, it was on the top floor of a high rise building and surprisingly cheap... Someone died in here obviously.

"So... This is our place?" Dan said sheepishly as he placed his bag of clothes next to the suitcase I carried up.

"Yep. Just ours." I whispered, taking his hand in mine. I showed him to his room, he put his stuff down and turnt towards me.

"We're sharing a bed though, right? Because well I liked cuddling..." He blushed, staring at the ground.

"Of course, this is just where you'll keep your stuff and film your videos." I said approaching him and caressing his cheek with my hand, he shivered at my touch and stepped closer, pressing his lips to mine. I stepped back and led him into the living room and onto the lone couch that was there. "I hope you don't mind but Peej is coming down for the weekend to help us settle in... He knows about us." I smiled, squeezing his knee.

"Yeah that's fine, so how long do we have together?" He winked.

"About an hour..." I trailed off. He smiled at me and squashed up against my shoulder. "Dan. Whut are you doin'. Dan. Stahp." I cried as he nibbled on my neck, creasing because it tickled. He started giggling like mad as he kissed me and made my neck blush.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna go further than that." He whispered, snuggling into my shoulder.

"I don't mind honestly it's just... I want it to be special, not just a quick thing..." I laughed, placing my hand under his chin and bringing his lips up to kiss. He grabbed my hands and pushed me back, kissing me forcefully, stroking my ribcage with his thumb and raking his hands through my hair with the other hand.

"I understand." He said breathlessly, laying down on top of me and burying his head into my chest. I put my arms around him, unsure of what had just happened... Whatever it was, I hoped we could continue that at some point. I think we must've fallen asleep because next thing I knew, Peej was knocking at the door.

"Hello, lovebirds." He whispered as I opened the door, my hair must've been a mess and my shirt was pulled up. I straightened up my hair and led him into the living room. Dan was still sitting on the sofa, his knees pulled up to his chest and a playful smile on his lips. He looked up and winked at Pj then returned to staring into space. I sat next to Dan and Pj sat on the small armchair we'd dragged up here.

"This is awkward... I can feel the sexual tension between you guys... It's fine to hug and stuff, ya'know?" He laughed, shuffling awkwardly in his seat. I looked over at Dan who smirked and pulled me closer, kissing me quickly on the lips before putting his arm around my shoulder and taking my hand with his other.

"Less awkward Peej?" He whispered, giggling. Pj nodded.

"So... Urm why don't we sort through some stuff then?" He asked, standing up and not really giving us a choice. We both nodded and Dan grabbed my hand as we walked through to my bedroom. I'd already put the bed up but other than that my room was empty. Dan immediately collapsed onto the bed as we walked in.

"Carry on peasants." He laughed, then continued to hum something. Pj laughed and walked over to a box, picking through bits and pieces, he'd known me long enough to know where I liked things kept. We managed to sort through almost everything, well me and Pj did, Dan spent his time either singing, correcting Pj on where things were being put and grabbing me and forcing me to kiss him. He was a lazy twat sometimes. We were there until around 8-ish, after an amazing meal that Dan cooked, me and him fell asleep on the sofa. We awoke to Pj standing over us, dressed in his adventure time pyjamas.

"where am I sleeping?" He asked. I nudged towards Dan's room, which now had a double bed and mattress in it then flopped my head onto Dan's.

"We should probably go to bed Phil.." He whined, grabbing at my wrist and standing up. He led me by my hand to our room, I climbed into bed, immediately removing almost all clothing except for my underwear, Dan did the same. He crawled in under the covers, his hands sliding over my bare legs as he slid towards the pillows. His head popped up just over the blankets, right near my chest. He giggled slightly before laying his head on it. I stroked his hair and smiled, this felt so right. We must've fallen asleep like that because again, we awoke to Pj... He smiled and blushed as he yanked of our covers, seeing Dan and me practically naked and Dan on top of me.

"I'll wait in the living room..." He laughed, skipping of down the hallway.

We basically did the same that day, Chris had visited briefly on his way home from uni... We didn't tell him about me and Phil yet.

The weekend went by quickly after that and soon Pj was leaving to go home.

*Dan's POV*

It was now just me and Phil, alone. I'd gone down to the shops to get some wine, enough to get us tipsy. He smiled as I walked in holding the bottle... Yes, I was underage but for some reason the girl behind the counter didn't ask after I'd winked at her.

"How on earth did you get that?" He laughed, walking over and sitting at the breakfast bar as I got out two glasses.

"I winked..." He smiled and took the glass from me, pouring it until it was full. "Thirsty?" I asked, pouring slightly less into mine. He nodded and jumped off the stool, heading for the sofa.

"Can we put a film on or summin'?" He asked, placing his glass on the table.

"How about music instead?" I whispered, pressing play on my iPod. Some song I couldn't remember the name of, played as background music as I turnt the lights down and went to sit next to Phil. He laid his head on my shoulder and allowed me to slip my arm around his neck. He downed the rest of his wine before starting to kiss my neck... I think I knew exactly what was going to happen tonight. I twisted slightly, allowing him to kiss me on the lips as I dragged my hands through his hair and caressed his torso. I heard him groan beneath me as I bit down hard enough to leave a bruise. He fell backwards, allowing me to engulf his body.

"You ready for this?" I whispered breathlessly.

"More ready than ever." He groaned, kissing me slowly.


	11. Phil 'Danger' Lester

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT XD ~ R

I took Phil's hands and pinned them behind him kissing his lips down to his neck then pulling up his shirt and kissing him all the way down to where his jeans started. He let out a soft groan from under me and I smiled. This was going to be fun. To my surprise I was then suddenly flipped onto my back as Phil took over and ran his fingers through my hair.

"Phil what's gotten into you?!" I squealed with excitement and disbelief.

"Trust me, I'm the Doctor" Phil said in a low tone followed by a wink.

I laughed, he then picked me up and carried me to the bedroom as I giggled madly. I looked into his blue eyes as he smiled and put me down on the bed.

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle" Phil said with a wink obviously enjoying this sense of power he felt he had over me being as this wasn't his first time with a guy.

"No need baby, bring it on!" I said laughing with nerves and excitement. This was going to happen and it was going to happen with the man of my dreams.

He took off his shirt and then proceeded to take off mine. I sat up on the bed and he kneeled with his legs either side of me and just kissed me so passionately and with such force that I began to run my hands through his hair and held on to him just to stay upright. Finally I couldn't take it any longer, I rolled over and pushed him down and then began to undo his jeans caressing his legs as I did so. I slid them off and Phil wrapped his arms around me and then began to undo my jeans as I stood in front of him.

Then things got heavy, Phil pulled me into a close embrace from behind and rubbed his hands up my thighs causing me to groan softly. The next thing I knew I was groaning and screaming with a mixture of pain and pleasure as literally rattled the head board of Phil's bed. Both breathless we just lay for a moment in each other's arms kissing and cuddling it was perfect, absolutely perfect. We then started to have fun and laughing as we did the cheesy scenes from films, with a geeky twist. Shit like 'Oh my LOTR DVD's are here but I don't have any money to pay for them, is there any way I can work for them Mr Delivery man?" and were only stopped when we heard a slight cracking sound.

Phil looked at me I looked and him as we collapsed into fits of laughter and I put on an Edward Cullen voice and said,

"Oh shit Bella, we've broken the bed. Damn vampire pelvis." Trying to keep a straight face however that didn't last long when Phil replied in a very high pitched voice,

"Oh well fuck it, am I pregnant yet?!" which completely killed me as Phil NEVER swears, although he had been tonight...

"Shhh spoilers" I replied. River song, classic.


	12. The Great Escape

Derp.

~L

Last night was perfect. I think Dan assumed it wasn't my first time, he seemed to think I knew what I was doing but I had no idea... I just went with what my body was telling me.

We fell asleep pretty early, my head was aching from the wine I'd downed.

"Dan, you awake?" I croaked, my voice hoarse from all the shouting. He flinched slightly, his eyes flickering. "Don't pretend to sleep..." I giggled, kissing him on the forehead and grabbing his neck, he hated his neck being touched.

"NUUU. Get off-Phi-STAHP." He cried, rolling over and falling off the bed. I burst into a fit of laughter until I realised... Did he hurt his back again?

"Dan? Are you okay?" I squeaked, rushing to the other side of the bed to check on him. He was crying... With laughter.

"I—I'm—fine!" He screamed, sitting up a bit too quickly and hitting his head of the side table. "Fuck that hurt." He sighed, climbing back up next to me. I couldn't help but smile, he was to perfect to be mine... But he was.

"Can I tell you a secret?" I whispered, as we lay down to watch a film later on that day.

"Sure." He giggled, cuddling closer to me.

"I've liked you ever since the day we met... That's why I was such a twat." I sighed, looking towards him for his reaction.

"Why?" He replied back quickly.

"Because... Well how do I explain? Every time I saw you I got butterflies, just the thought of you made me smile, from the moment I saw your perfect face, I knew I loved you, I just never thought someone like you could even think of me that way." He nodded in disbelief.

"No-one's ever loved me before... I mean, I've only just realised I'm bi... Phil, I love you too I just..." He pulled away, pulling his hands through his hair. "I'm prone to relapses and well I don't want you to see me like that." He sighed, tears forming in his eyes. I put my arm around his shoulder.

"I'll be here for you if you do Dan, I promise." He smiled as the tears rolled down his cheeks. I wiped them from his face and moved to sit in front of him, taking his arms in my hands and kissing the faded white scars on his skin. "I love you." I said, pulling him into my chest. The whole time he stayed silent, most likely contemplating whether I was telling the truth or not. But I wouldn't lie to him and I hoped he knew that. Donnie Darko played in the background as I held Dan and allowed him to sob into my chest.

"Hey, why don't we go out and get food?" He croaked after what seemed like forever.

"I think that's a good idea." We got dressed, Dan still managing to look perfect despite the fact he hadn't washed in a few days because the water hadn't been turned on yet and well then there was me... The potato. I wouldn't be surprised if people had asked Dan what he was thinking dating someone like me! We went downtown and to the closest Starbucks, Dan bought like a gazillion cakes and the biggest coffee I'd ever seen... He must've been hungry. I settled on a sandwich and a hot chocolate.

"It's your birthday soon, isn't it?" I asked through a mouthful of cake. He nodded, sipping his drink. "What do you want?"

"Nothing, I hate getting presents..." He sighed.

"Not fair, you have to let your boyfriend buy you a present at least!" I cried, drawing the attention of a few people around us. I was glad he didn't mind me calling him that now, it still sounded strange though.

"Fine Philip, if you're going to be stubborn about it. But don't expect me to go to any parties, I hate social situations enough as it is." He said, reaching for my hand across the table. He made a point of shifting his sleeves down, he was becoming more conscious of his scars. He nodded and mentioned something about leaving, so we did. I could tell from the moment we got in that day that something wasn't right with Dan. He was quieter, more withdrawn and less... Himself.

We'd only been living together for two weeks when I realised something wasn't right. Dan was constantly wearing long sleeved shirts, whereas before he was okay because the marks were pretty faded and barely noticeable now... He never took his t-shirt off and well he wouldn't do anything bedroom wise... He wasn't subtle about it but I didn't know how to approach the situation and I was worried about losing him so much I tried to ignore it, which was a mistake.

I awoke to a bed covered in blood, no Dan. I called for him through the flat but no answer. He must've gone somewhere but I didn't know. I tried to call his phone but he didn't answer. I phoned all his closest friends but no response. I was scared. It was my fault, he'd mentioned relapsing, I knew what he was doing and I did nothing about it. I was a horrible boyfriend. I phoned the police, but even after explaining that he could be seriously injured they told me to wait 24 hours... I didn't think I had that long. I grabbed my jacket and went searching, the only place I could think he'd go is his house or a friends or maybe... No I didn't want to think about that. I wandered into town, heading for Starbucks thinking maybe he'd gone to get a drink, no luck inside. I checked round the back and wandered around town for what felt like hours. I was numb. I couldn't express my pain, I needed to put all my effort and energy into finding him and bringing him home safely, I'd finally gotten the one I love and I'd let him go.

"Dan?" I cried, making one last plea around the back of our flats in the garden area. I heard something stir near a bush and approached with caution. I could hear heavy breathing. I moved the branches out of the way to reveal a drunk, bleeding, crying Dan lying unconscious in a bush. I pulled him up, smearing blood all over my own clothes but I didn't care. I pretty much carried him up to our flat and lay him on the sofa, calling for an ambulance.

"Don't Phil, please." He squeaked, limply throwing his arm trying to knock the phone from my hands. I didn't listen. The ambulance would be here soon.

"What happened Dan?" I asked, seizing the opportunity to talk to him.

"I told you I was prone to relapses."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you knew. You knew and you let me suffer!" He slurred.

"I didn't know what to do! I.. I didn't want to make it worse." I cried, seeing the look of disgust on his face, it didn't suit him.

"Fine, whatever Phil." The ambulance arrived soon after. Dan had been bandaged up and sobered up within a few hours, he wouldn't answer any questions and wouldn't respond to me either. I'd managed to lose him already, Jesus Phil no wonder everyone hates you so much, you always mess up. The first good thing you'd had since living with Nan and you fucked it up. Dan wasn't gonna take you back after this and you deserve it. Nice going, fuck up.

I never helped myself when I felt down.

"Dan?" I whimpered, awaking in tears, covered in a hospital blanket, I must've fallen asleep.

"Yes?" He replied coldly.

"Are you going to move out now?" I asked, yet afraid of his answer. He sighed and turnt away.

"No." He replied.

"Why not?" I asked in surprise.

"Because, if you had of said something about it, I probably would've hated you more. I'm not saying what you did was right Phil but it's my fault as well. Now go back to sleep."

"I love you Daniel." I whispered.

"I love you too you twat." He giggled.


	13. Things that make you go AWEH

The doctors said I could go home so I woke Phil gently. We then went home and I went to make some food and clean up as the sheets still had blood on them but Phil told me to sit down and stop being silly and he'd do everything. I knew it was pointless to argue so I went to sit down. Phil put the sheets in the wash wincing at what I'm guessing was flashbacks of finding me. I felt bad for putting him through that and I wasn't mad anymore but I knew we had to talk about my relapsing.

I went to begin the conversation when Phil cut me off.

"Dan. I.. I'm so sorry and I don't know what to do but I want you to be okay because I love you and yeah oh god I love you so much so much Dan."

Phil rushed his words so much it was hard to catch all of what he said. I could see tears forming in his eyes so I cut him off with a kiss.

"Phil I love you, I just need you to be there for me when I'm going through this, I promise I'll try to tell you when I'm feeling low. I really do love you...with all my heart."

And with this Phil hugged me tighter than ever sobbing into my shoulder as I began to cry to Phil pulled back from the embrace and held my hands. He then began to gently lift up my sleeves and when I tried to stop him he just put a finger to my lips, telling me to shush. I did so as he caressed my face and wiped away my tears.

He gently rolled my sleeves up and at first grimaced at the sight of the gashes but then he began to kiss them, and at that moment I knew that this lion obsessed, overly happy, gorgeous guy who was my best friend, was the guy I knew... I knew I never wanted to be parted from, ever.

I hugged Phil and did some sort of fucking ninja move as I pulled the Kill Bill DVD from the cushion behind him. I saw Phil's face light up as he ran, as if on double speed from the cupboard to the microwave to the Xbox back to the microwave and then leaped onto the sofa while pressing 'Play Film' causing the freshly made popcorn to tip all over us and the sofa but we where laughing too much to care.


	14. What do Guys do at Slumber Parties?

I have a feeling I will be murdered for doing this... Oops.

~L

We'd finally settled into the flat, and our new life. I loved every minute I got to spend with Dan. We still hadn't told anyone other than Peej about our relationship but we weren't ready to tell anyone else. Chris was one of our best friends but... Not close enough for us to wanna tell him.

"Phil, we need to get up, Chris and Peej will be here soon..." Dan moaned, sitting up in our bed and waddling over on his knees to straddle me.

"It's too early Danny, can't we cuddle some more?" I whisper, keeping my eyes closed but placing my hands on Dan's hips.

"No, it's like 11 Philly, we need to eat and get dressed and shower and Chris and Peej will be here in like an hour and a half for our movie night, nerdy sleepover thing." He leant down and kissed me softly on the lips and then stood up, taking my hand and pulling me with him. "If it makes you feel any better, we can shower together?" He purred, grabbing my other hand and doing a stupid dance. I nodded, probably blushing like crazy...

An hour or so later, we were both dressed and showered and hopefully ready for an evening full of secret glances and stolen moments because we couldn't be near eacother whilst Chris was here.

"Daniel, Phillip." Pj said solemnly as we opened the door to let him and Chris in. Chris waved awkwardly, almost tripping on our doormat and causing Dan to piss himself laughing. I could already tell this was going to be impossible, I couldn't help but notice how adorable it was when he snorted, the way his dimples- No Phil stop. Just one night, then you can cuddle him all you want for weeks.

"I thought I'd bring films... So naturally I brought Harry Potter, you cool with that?" Pj asked, laying himself out on the sofa, only leaving enough space for one person, Chris took the space. I sat down on the armchair and Dan sat awkwardly on the carpet.

"Hey, I think I'll go get popcorn and some drinks, anyone wanna come?" Dan asked, not very subtly turning to look at me. He was hinting for me to but I didn't get to say anything before Pj had swung his legs of the sofa and stood up.

"It'll be a chance for me to get to know you Dan." Pj said before heading towards the door, Dan just behind him, struggling to put on his jacket. I heard the door slam and it was just me and Chris.

I felt awkward staring at him from the chair so went over to sit next to him.

"I promise things will get less awkward..." I laughed, swishing my fringe out of my face and smiling re-assuringly. Chris blushed and looked down into his lap, smiling.

"I believe you... How long do you reckon they'll be?" he asked, pulling his legs up to cross them and swivelling round to face me.

"Urm, half an hour? Maybe more?" I replied, not really knowing why but doing the same as he did and crossing my legs and turning to face him. We got to talking, and soon enough it felt like I'd known Chris for so much longer than I had, I couldn't deny I still got slight butterflies every time he laughed or blushed but I loved Dan, Chris was just a silly crush.

"You have really nice eyes, you know that Phil?" He whispered, breaking a moment of silence. My throat suddenly restricted, I tried to say thanks but before I could he'd moved closer and carefully moved my fringe from my eyes.

"Chris-." I tried to say, but he shushed me and closed the space between us. I didn't respond straight away and his soft lips, so unlike Dan's, lingered on mine for a few moments before I realised what was happening and tried to pull back. He gripped the back of my neck and pulled me closer... I found myself kissing him back.


	15. Skylines And Turnstiles

*Dan's POV*

"So Dan, how's things with you and Philip?" Pj asked as I grabbed the popcorn of the shelf in the corner shop down the road. I shrugged, not wanting to say too much in public.

"Fine I guess..." I replied, trying to distract myself with choosing fizzy drinks.

"Have you guise... You know, screwed?" He continued.

"Pj Oh my lord you can't just ask that!" I retorted, slapping him hard on the arm.

"Why not? I'm just curious!.. Does that mean you have?" I replied by blushing, "You have, haven't you?!" He cried, his face contorted with laughter.

"Omg, it's not even that funny Peej, calm down..." I quickly ushered him out of the shop, ran back to pay then walked home, in awkward silence.

"Phil, I'm back bubs." I called as I entered the living room, Him and Chris were sitting next to each other on the sofa, watching Doctor Who.

"Heya." He called, not turning to look at me- To engrossed in the TV.

"I bought Pez..." I teased, taking it out of the bag and shaking it. He quickly stood up and ran round the sofa to stand next to me, kissing me quickly on the lips. Then I remembered... Chris was watching us.

"Gimme!" He cried, snatching them from my hand and holding them tightly to his chest.

"Chris... We can explain." I choked, staring at the ground. Pj walked in, looking confused by the scene.

"Oh yeah Chris, they're screwing." Pj laughed, taking a seat next to Chris and slapping him hard on the thigh, he didn't look shocked at all.

Awkward sleepover was awkward.

*Phil's POV*

"NO, Chris- Stop." I cried out, realizing what I was doing.

"Wha—What's wrong?" He whimpered, staring down at his hands again. "I know you're bi Phil and I know you like me... Pj told me."

"I used to like you, yeah, but it was just a crush and oh fuck. What have I done?! FUCK." I screamed, leaping up from the sofa and slamming my hands into my eyes, trying to block out my stupidness.

"Why does it matter? It was just a kiss, no harm done..." He chuckled, turning towards me and swinging his legs off the sofa.

"You don't understand! Dan... Dan's my boyfriend and now... Look what I've done! How could I be so stupid!" Chris stared at me, tears filled his eyes.

"Ohgod, I'm so sorry Phil, I shouldn't have- I don't even fancy you! I just thought maybe Pj would... I'm stupid. I'm so sorry." I sat down next to him again, keeping my hands covering my face and hiding the angry tears staining my cheeks.

"It's okay Chris just... Because of Dan's relapsing, what if he finds out? He's gonna hate me and he can't hate me Chris he's the best thing that's ever happened to me-" I grabbed my chest and started panting, so this is what a panic attack feels like? "I-I-Can-t-Loose-Him." I choked.

"Phil calm down! Okay? It'll be fine, I'll cover for you, if he finds out, I attacked you and oh fuck I'm sorry... BREATHE GODDAMIT." He shouted,

rubbing my back. "Do you have a paper bag?" He asked, more calmly than before. I gestured towards the kitchen, trying to regain my breath.

"What did you say about Peej earlier?" I asked, my breath only catching slightly in my throat now that I'd calmed down a bit.

"I didn't say anything about Pj..." He smiled, blushing into his lap.

"You fancy him don't you?" I laughed. He nodded quickly and turnt away.

"Look okay, if you want to tell Dan it's up to you, but do you reckon he'll understand? It was just a stupid kiss and I forced it upon you."

"I don't know, I'll think about this more when you and Pj go home... Is it okay if I just pretend to Dan that I told you about us?" He nodded, and I heard a key slot into the door.

*Dan's POV*

I tend to get all deep and meaningful around the times of relapse, I just question life in general and what I'm doing with my pitiful existence... Every time those kind of thoughts come into my head, I have Phil to keep me grounded, almost to give me a reason to live. Then he told me the truth, he told me it had been eating away at him for weeks, He'd kissed Chris. He kissed him. He cheated on me.

"That's no excuse Phil, you fucking kissed. How could you do that to me?" I screamed through tears, Phil's face a mirrored image of mine, tears everywhere, pain and anguish clear in his eyes.

"It was just one kiss Dan... I don't have any feelings for him okay. He kissed me, I... Dan I love you, please don't leave me."

"Is that seriously all you can think about? Yourself?! 'Please don't leave me.' Pathetic. You love me? No. You don't cheat on someone you love Phil. I don't know what's worse, the fact you did it or the fact you kept it from me for weeks." He didn't respond, but I knew that once the words were out of my mouth that I hadn't meant them. Who was I kidding, I needed him as much as he needed me but trust is an issue... I don't trust easily, once trust with me is broken, I doubt it will ever be repaired. Phil just stood in front of me, sobbing, his hair falling in front of his face. I don't even remember how we got here, standing in the living room, screaming at each other. I kept staring, my face softening slightly; I didn't want him to cry, no matter how much I despised him right now. "Stop crying and go to sleep okay?" I whispered, staring at the ground. I heard him shuffle out of the room, I'd only seen Phil like this once before, and that was when I relapsed last. I decided I'd try and get rest, but instead of sleeping with Phil I slept in my own room that night... I say slept, it was more like twisting and turning restlessly for hours. I heard my door creak open around 4 in the morning.

Phil stood in the doorway; he'd removed his t-shirt, probably because it was soaked in tears. He shuffled in slightly, his head hanging as low as it would go. I could see the shadow of his jet black fringe in the moonlight.

"Dan, I'm sorry." He choked, scratching at his arms, I was sure it'd leave marks. "I need you okay, no matter how pathetic I sound it's the truth. Forgive me if I'm wrong but you need me too. I love you, I can't live without you. I refuse to live without you. Please can we give this a second chance? I know you find it hard to trust and I don't expect you to trust me anytime soon, but please don't throw away what we have. We can fix this. It's not too late."

"Get in here you twat." I sobbed, throwing back the covers. The moment I felt his warm body up against mine, I was happy again. What he was saying was right, I don't want to lose him... I won't. I'll try my hardest not too.

*Phil's POV*

I didn't deserve it but he took me back. I was going to rebuild his trust if it killed me, which it might just. I didn't care, he was worth it. I held him that night as he sobbed in his sleep; I whispered sweet nothings into his ears until he calmed down, awaking minutes before dawn.

"Quick Dan get up." I whispered, pulling him out of bed by his hand. I dragged him into the kitchen, half asleep, and made coffee. I then carried the coffee and him up the one flight of stairs onto the roof. "Watch." I said finally, handing him a cup of coffee and taking his other hand in mine. A sudden burst of light shone through the grey clouds, illuminating the sky turning it a hazy orange colour with streaks of yellow and blue and the brightest of pinks mixed in. The sky looked like an unreal painting. I looked down at mine and Dan's hands, his knuckles were red from where he'd been lashing out last night, still healing scars scattered his skinny arms. I looked up to his face, quickly scanning his bare chest before settling on his eyes, a deep brown colour and remarkably beautiful despite being quite common.

"What are you staring at?" He laughed, finally turning away from the sky now that it had settled into a more blue colour.

"You." I responded, placing my coffee mug on the ledge and grabbing his waist, pulling him in for a hug, holding his waist as tight as possible. "Stop being so flawless okay, it's not fair." I giggled, pulling back slightly and looking back into his eyes.

"Me? Stop being flawless? Never." He winked. "I'm kidding; my imperfections are scarred all over my body. Unlike you, you're too good to be true."

"They aren't imperfections, think of them as battle scars, and one day you'll look back on them knowing that you've won the war." I smiled up at him, tracing my fingers lightly over his arms. "Of course you are flawless my dear, in my eyes anyway." I leant up and kissed him on the lips, softer than normal, scared he'd reject me I guess.

"I love you Phil." He whispered, silent tears rushing down his cheeks.


	16. Truth or Dare 2

I suggest you watch Truth or Dare 2 before watching this so it'll make more sense:'3

* * *

"We're not going to tell the Phans, right?" I ask as Dan finishes setting up the camera.

"No. It's our own business, they don't need to know." He replies.

"Okay, so what video are we filming today Danasour?"

"Truth or Dare!" He squeals excitedly.

"Not again..." I groan, knowing the dares aren't gonna be in my favour.

"Don't worry, none of them are for you, you just need'a help me and I want you here." He sits half on my lap, half off, smiling into the camera. After filming a couple of dares, and some truths Dan read out one he seemed to happy about."Dare. Play gay chicken with Phil." Acting, I looked at him weirdly and he did the same to me.

We had to move to sit on the carpet. My insides were dying... Surely they'd figure we were together because of this?

"Okay Phil, I know this is something that you've been looking forward to." He said sarcastically.

"I don't want to do it. It's weird." I pouted.

"No, you have to." He replied.

"No." I said defiantly.

"It's a dare now come on just do it."

"I don't want to do it." I sighed.

"It's a dare, come on..."

I sighed again, then slowly reached for his leg, my hand got closer and just as I touched the inside of his leg...

"Get the fuck of me you weirdo!" He cried out, I almost fell backwards laughing.

"I thought you told me to do it!" I laughed back.

"You freak!" He cried over the top of me.

"You told me to do it!" I retorted, trying not to ruin the joke by laughing too much.

"People like you should be locked up!" He threatened, trying to look distraught. "Weirdo." He said, standing up and shuffling away from the camera. I looked directly at it and pouted.

"Ahh, I'm so confused." I cried, my voice wavering as I looked up at Dan who was smirking down at me... Something protruding from his jogging bottoms. He quickly turnt the camera off and sat down next to me. "Is that your phone or are you just happy to see me?" I ask, winking.

"Shut up and kiss me you fool." He laughs, almost throwing himself at me.

* * *

"Truth. What's the one thing you want to do before you die?" Dan says, blushing as he looks towards me, it'd taken us half an hour but here we were filming again. "Hmm... That's gotta be Phil's mum." He laughs.

"Hey!" I react, pretending to hit him on the arm, his laugh filling my ears. "Actually shut up." I cry, punching him more and pushing him into the sofa, causing him to laugh even more.

"Nah, you know I love you too much. I wouldn't want anyone else." He sighs sitting up and pushing his head into my chest.

"I know, I love you too... But seriously, the Phil's mum joke is getting old now." I laugh, throwing my arm around him and bringing him closer.

"I'm gonna have to edit that out... Maybe not the laughing bit but this. Sorry, I'm just not ready yet." He sighs, moving so he's facing me, his chocolate brown eyes immediately becoming sad.

"Shush you, it's okay." I touch the back of his neck lightly and bring him on for a kiss.

"Phil GET THE FUCK OFF." He cries, creasing the back of his neck and falling backwards. "You know I hate my neck being touched." He pouts.

I get closer and lean over him, biting my lip and probably failing at being suggestive. "I thought I was different." I wink.

"No. My neck hates everyone, now please stop biting your lip because I really don't feel like editing out a sex scene." He laughs, sitting up and placing a chaste kiss on my collar bone.

"Awh damn." I giggle, standing up and heading towards the kitchen. "You want a cuppa?"

* * *

"Fuck Phil. That was amazing." Dan pants as I roll off of him. He quickly turns towards me and wraps around my waist, snuggling into my chest. "I love you bby." He whispers, kissing my collar bone.

"I love you too."

"Philip? Dan? Are you in there?" Someone calls from the front door.

"Holy shit it's my mum." Dan squeals, rolling away from me and onto the floor.

"What? No... It can't be... She- she didn't tell us she was coming!" I reply, grabbing my t-shirt from where it was tossed across the room.

"Be there in a second mum!" Dan cries, desperately trying to pull on a pair of my boxers and falling over. I chuck him his jeans before grabbing my own and shimmying into them.

"I'll get the door then." I whisper, leaving Dan to pull on his jeans, I hear him run out across the hallway and into the bathroom just as I open the front door.

"Phil! How lovely to see you!" She calls, pulling me in for an awkward hug.

"You too Mrs Howell!" I chirp politely, I lead her into the living room and offer her a cup of tea, where the fuck is Dan? Then I hear him...

"Mum! Lovely to see you... Urm what brings you here?" He asks, his voice sounding tired.

"I wanted to see my son and his best friend... Is that okay?" She laughs, I hear Dan laugh with her before taking a seat on the sofa across from her.

"Phil's making the tea right?" Dan asks after a few moments of silence.

"Yup, he's lovely and polite, unlike you my son." She jokes.

"Okay, brb." He replies, leaping up from the couch and running into the kitchen. When he walks in, I realise why he was in the bathroom. His hair is neatly combed, unlike mine, his face is washed and shiny, whereas mine is red and exhausted and... Is that eye liner?!

"Dan are you wearing eye liner?" I chuckle, almost spilling the kettle water all over the floor.

"No you numpty!" He comes closer and quickly kisses me on the lips, "I'm sorry about my mum. We were having so much fun..." He sighs, pulling away and returning to sit with her. I bring out the tea a few minutes later.

"So, are you two gonna show me around the flat then?" Dan nods and stands up.

"So this is the kitchen, as you can see it's very... Kitcheny. Urm, we have a breakfast bar and follow me..." He trails off and leads her into his room. "This is my room... Not so brown anymore."

"Wow, I'm surprised it's this tidy if I'm honest." She laughs, assessing the room from corner to corner. The only reason it's so clean is because he never uses it... "I'm assuming Phil has the larger room?" She asks, Dan leads her into my bedroom...

"Urm I'm sorry about the mess, I was trying to find my iPod this morning and yeah..." She quickly scans the room before her and eventually her eyes settle on the bottle of lube and condoms on my bedside table, next to Dan's underpants. Dan looks at me and I look at him. We're in deep... Poop.

"Urm boys... I think it's best I leave now." She giggles. "I can see you were urm busy and I..."

"Mum let me explain, please?" Dan begs, staring at her with serious eyes. She twitches before walking towards the living room and taking a seat. I sit next to Dan on the couch.

"Mum..." He starts, taking my hand and squeezing. "I'm bisexual and Phil is my boyfriend." He stares down at the carpet, the grip on my hand tightening.

"I see... How long has this been going on for?" She asks, her voice wavering slightly.

"Since I moved in with Phil. We actually kissed for the first time when I was at his but yeah."

"So, almost 6 months?" She gasps. Dan nods. "How did I not realise?! Awh Dan, I'm happy for you." Dan's eyes light up.

"Thanks mum." He breathes, tears evident in his eyes. She gets up and hugs him, tears in her eyes as well.

"Now urm, I really must be going. I can see you boys were busy and I'm sorry I ruined your fun." She quickly stands up and shuffles out of the doorway.

"Fuck." Dan squeals, throwing himself at me and wrapping his arms around my waist. "I'm so glad I got that off my chest." He sighs, I suddenly feel tears stain my t-shirt.

"Hey, what's up duck?" I ask, pulling him round so he was sitting on my lap.

"Nothing it's just... I'm happy and it feels weird." He smiles, his dimples showing.

"Isn't that a good thing?" I say, stroking his cheek.

"Yes. For the first time in years I don't feel... Alone or scared and I'm no longer frightened of myself. Every time I feel low... I have you."

"Yes you do... Forever and ever and ever." I whisper, mimicking a creepy Childs voice before getting closer and nuzzling the side if his neck and attacking it with kisses.


End file.
